Sunday, May 27, 2007

The Captain injured in battle




While the captain was fighting obesity he threw out his lower back. It was an epic battle. Stringing tomatoes was the villain , and the captain was hit, and forced flat on his backside. Unfortunately he met up with Carl's Jr. Jalapeno burger. The spicy one promised to ease his pain, but as we all know he is always a villain pretendsing to be our friend. Weigh in is Tuesday. Hoping to break even




20 comments:

Dawn said...

I'm impressed with your weight-loss, Captain. Losing the odd battle along the way doesn't mean the war is lost. Keep shooting from the hip at every dirty-dog, varmint kilojoule!

shannon said...

So I was thinking...

say being fat is a genetic disorder. If your parents were fat, you're much more likely to be fat. I'd say it's true (nature and nurture). In the animal world, only the animals with the "sexy traits" (biggest, strongest, etc.) get to pass on their traits to the next generation and mate.

So the way to solve the problem of fat people...is to go with our animalistic nature and just fuck ridiculously good looking people. Stop fucking fat people, and then they can't pass their fat genes on. Problem solved.

"The Captain" said...

Shannon,
I just saw that exact same post on the ironfofun blog. I do expect villains to at least be original and somwhat stay on topic. Speaking of Villains A. is winning with 5 votes.
Jeff

Anonymous said...

Ok, perhaps Shannon isn't quite original, but her message rings refreshingly true. You are right Shannon, fat people should not breed. Neither should dumb people. Well, I sense some redundancy in that since most fat people are dumb. And lazy. And grotesque. And the alarming fact is they breed at a higher rate than intelligent people do. Bottom line, do the world a favor Jeff and get castrated.

A.

Anonymous said...

I thought only Herbal T forced the Caption on his backside. A. for president.
BlockBuster

"The Captain" said...

A.
Obviously you haven't seen my recent pics. I'll make it simple for you. Go back into the archives and find following the final fifty program. Put your Klan suit on and get on the treadmill. Get with program Dixie.Fitness is the game on this site.

The Captain

Suzy said...

Congratulations on the FANTASTIC job you have done so far. You have never lost sight of your goal and therefore you will achieve it.
With your amazing attitude and willpower a small injury will not deter you for long.
Hope the scales are kind to you until you are healed. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Klan suit? Interesting. Actually, dislike the Klan almost as much as whining fat guys like you with vaginas.

A.
Editors note. A Portion of A's response was edited out.

"The Captain" said...

June's blogpoll will be whether to relegate the villains to the phantom zone.
Thanks Suzy for posting on my site. Make sure to hold your purse tight due to the unruly guests.
Jeff

Crabby McSlacker said...

Oh my goodness, it is rather rough-and-tumble over here.

I'm just wondering, given what was left of the anonymous comment, how nasty the rest had to be to get cut out?

I was just going to say a simple "sorry you hurt your back, that's so terrible," but it sounds so namby pamby!

Personally, I also think there should be requirements for whether one can breed. But these would have to do more with competence, generosity, and the ability to raise nice civilized children.

angelfish24 said...

yeah, eating healthy all the time is a real stuggle. It's just part of the ups and downs. I had a bad weekend but back at it today with the healthy eating and exercise. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling that some people that post here are snorting coke and eating valiums at the same time.

You can figure out who they are. Then again maybe they are just popping too much Welbutrin or mixing it with Prozac.

Anonymous said...

Forget to mention that my name is Hammerhead. Do you remember where you first saw me?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like it was an anal battle.

Beware Fatboy

Anonymous said...

Caption,
Congrats. Injurying your back. Good work. Doc can you prescribe you oxycontin. Add Feeling No Pain-Josh Rouse to your favs
BlockBuster
The San Fernando King

Dawn said...

Why were you stringing tomatoes, Captain? What do you do with them?

Penelope said...

Hope your back is better.

'Stros are loosing (as are the Cubs). Jerry Narron (Reds Coach) was ejected six pitches in for arguing strikes and balls (te-hee). Real stroke of genius there.

As I've said before it's May. The 'Stros don't even show up to the park on a regular basis until July.

--P

Spidey said...

Hope your back gets better! I had a shot in my shoulder for tendonitis on Tuesday. It still hurts.

Anonymous said...

Liked that post...Were you listing them from least to most favorite...Probably so since OU812 is number 7!!!

ROCK ON HAGAR

Penelope said...

DUDE--

Your team is getting nasty.

Like I said before:

PINELLA IS AWESOME!!!

--P