I wanted to thank the villains and the failed superhero for the inspiration to lose another pound. 227 is the captain's new weight. As Ben Affleck told Samuel L Jackson in the movie Changing Lanes,"Better luck next time" C-YA in the funny papers guys!!!
The Captain
5 comments:
This was originally posted on Spidey's site. I thought it was so good that I decided to feature it in the villains voice.
Anonymous said...
You'll soon have heartburn again, blubbering oaf. Your miraculous weight loss after months of failure has nobody fooled. Stop posting photos of your younger brother.
I lost 110 lbs. the hard way, and my audience at the Twins Radio Network loved me all the more for having the courage to do it.
You mocked me before, but who's laughing now? Your pal spidey is already at 300, and you will soon be crawling back to your local Burger King for a super-mega meal.
Don't worry, all your fat friends will take you back.
Normal Boy
no longer Fat-boy
Anonymous said...
Damn fool. Whatever photo retouching program you are using is a damn good one. You will put Adobe out of business in no time. If your not Alice, you're the MAD HATTER. or maybe the MAD FATTER. or maybe FAT CATTER. Hell No, YOU are the FAT BATTER!
The Jackyl
11:52 PM
Anonymous said...
He is unstoppable, in fact those are the exact words the managament at Hometown Buffet used before they banned him for life.
Conrad
10:07 AM
Anonymous said...
Captain, by the way, there's more censorship on this site than in Red China.
Conrad
10:10 AM
Anonymous said...
What Chris H meant to say:
"You are so close to the BMI of a 27 hundred lb. hippo I want to mate you, awesome!!!!"
Conrad
11:27 AM
Anonymous said...
Sorry to break it to you Jeff, but that scale we sold you at WalMart actually measures your weight in Kilos. So your 227 Kilos is actually 499.4 pounds. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Sam Walton
11:30 AM
The good captain was impersonated by an evil Captain. Here is the chronicle of the battle.
Jeff Rhodes
Do you think these idiots sit in a room together and think of stuff to say? One day they'll realise people are laughing at them [Not with them..AT them] and they'll feel like the losers they are.
These guys are a perfect example of what happens when you still live at home with mum & dad at the age of 30, bludging off the welfare system, drinking cheap beer at 9am, wearing the same skiddy y-fronts for 2 years straight & never been kissed by any girl that isn't immediate family.
It's so pathetic it's actualy amusing!
Jeff,
Please call me. I hate to do this on your blog, but you need to contact either me or anybody in the family. Your work has called your mom's house 3 times, and Dr. Sherman has been trying to reach you because you did not refill your prescription. The house looked like it had been ransacked, and you were nowhere to be found. It seems as though this is the only way to reach you. You need to take control over your life once again and fight the evil demons that have taken over. We know you can hopefully snap back out of this with some help from Dr. Frank. None of us want what happened to you last summer to ever happen again. We are here for you and always will be. Please contact anybody in the family to let us know you are alright. Please call us. We all love you.
Sincerely,
Your Cousin,
Edward
Edward said he left you a message on here and several other phone messages. Please call us. We are worried sick about you. You can't keep doing this to yourself or us. You need to take responsibility for your actions and face your problems head on. We are all here for you, including dad. He's not mad, but he does want to know if your alright. You can explain the missing money and jewelery to him later.
Will
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